Its funny that i dun have any targets in life. Theres no clear cut ambition that i have in mind now. Im juz passing each day as it is.

Theres no fufillment or satisfaction. People my say hey u got into the top 10%, shouldnt u be feeling great. Seriously its a no. Its a heavy burden to carry. People see u in a different light in a diff way. When u reach the near the pinnicle, its harder to climb up and the easier and most likely thing is to fall. Falling seems to be an inevitable thing. Like an innocent among the wolfpacks, everyone is just awaiting to pounce on you.

Lost my phone. Im feeling really ridiculous right now. How could it have ever drop when i never even take it out of my pocket and nvr seat ( the onli time being in the guitar club, but if its there, ppl would have return it ) ITS CLEARLY IN MY POCKET NO WHERE ELSE. Its so unfair, its not as if i left the phone somewhere like the table or so. Im so angry that i could curse the person to suffer even if it means to shorten my life but tat simply wont work. noone would return it, its a norm, the seemingly right thing NORMAL ppl would have in mind. Seriously i would't mind offer a hundred or two as a reward, an amt that worth far more than the phone.

The contacts and messeges i have in there are far too valuable. Now its all gone, faded away, gone in the wind. Dun expect to reach me easily now other than in sch or by my house phone. 67529355, no funny phonecalls plz, not in the mood to entertain u all.

Or well if u see me blur in the next few days, you will know why. Even what i shld do now, im not even interested in. If theres anything that keeps me going in life, its the refusal to admit defeat. No matter how miserable life is right now, im still gonna make worth out of it since somehow or so i have already paid the entrance fee.

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